Timothy McNeal

A newly-wed couple in Syracuse
who wanted to travel to Toulouse,
drove crazy the seller
of tickets, that feller
could not understand "Two to Toulouse!

A girl with a big, lovely liver
when seeing a drink starts to shiver;
after tossing the stuff down
she throws off her night-gown :
A nightcap then fast you should give her!

To a doctor confessed once a father
of his son, "I´m afraid he will rather
keep liking them small toys!"
"That´s okay for them little boys.!"
"He´s fifty, that is why I bother!"

There lived once an old operator;
of his daughter he said, "How I hate her!"
From dusk until dawn
she does only yawn -
my sleep every night starts much later!"

A drunk who seemed dead like a stone
once lay in the tow-away zone;
they towed the old bum
back home to his mum,
believe me, he then had to moan!

An operator once had a nice kid
who didn´t obey him a little bit;
his rules were severe,
but she didn´t care,
for she did it and did it and did it

A farmer who had a bald sister
quite desperately wished someone kissed her;
but without exceptions
her head showed reflections,
so cupid, that fool, always missed her.

A spinster who roomed with a spider
one night drank thirteen pints of cider;
they say that her room-mate
took place in the big fete,
ending up by mistake then inside her.

An operator once had a nice kid
who didn´t obey him a little bit;
his rules were severe,
but she didn´t care,
for she did it and did it and did it.

A man by the name of Verecco
unfortunately lost his tobacco;
he tried to forget
the loss but then said,
"Withgout it life seems to be secco."

His fianceé had to abandon
a keen teetotaller in Camden;
she loved beverages
which made her courageous,
her lovers she then chose at random.

There was once a playwright in Cambrai
whose motto was always, "Come what may!"
He fought for a livin´ ,
fell into oblivion,
for his works he could never get any pay.

There is a young lady called Sylvia,
and what she´s alike I will tell ya :
I think you´ll agree
from lip down to knee
she makes quite a wonderful pictya.

There once lived an Indian in Durban
who used to wear many a turban;
he chose for his head
a top-hat instead,
and his tea-cup he then filled with Bourban.